Wot Next??

So bloody relieved.So damn Happy.
3 years of sumthn has cum to an end.I wudn't say hard work,but ya its been a bit stressful nevertheless.
I wudnt say,dat mah evenin's wud be free,it was more often free dan bein busy.I duno,though it wasnt very taxing,but the fact dat d course was on for d last 3 years does make it sound dat it was indeed an accompolishment.And yes,it is an accompolishment.Things went well,without any incidents.The exam days were no doubt stressful.Not that I had a goal,mission etc,it was just another exam which u wud wana get over with!!!.
And now,no sooner that sumthn gets dun,d ever concerning question: "wot next??" Hello?? Wtf!! Y a next??ya,der mite be a lotta things dat one can do,but aint it incorrect to shoot dat one,like immediately after few hours!!..I dont have to do anythin to get goin with.It's not a bloody SSC exam,where i need to decide on mah career.Or for that matter a HSC or grad.I mean,Me aint even a full timer..But the funny part is,all of us equals,do ask this to each other.."Ab MBA ke baad kya??" yaar,ek naukri jo hai wo hai,ab line badlu,field badlu nd take another set of stress??.Ok.u mite wana do dat,wen u feel beaten already.And ofcourse,there was a gud no. Of unsatisfied employees who simply put up wit d jobs,jst so dat d Part time session gets done with.!!
Ya,so certain sudden shifts in job has got me a li'l bit of a bad name.A leave gets me questions like 'U lookin fr a job again?' and now after gettin done with d mba,gets me dose qustns again!!..
I think I wud,not immediately though.There's a concern,if not now,den will it hold any value??.Well,guess,Id gamble with it.Not bcs my last set of decisions,dint work for me,guess,its bcs,im a li'l apprehensive of being known as a jumper.Probb,line change karega ya tho khudka kuch karega...Easier typed,thot dan dun!!Lekin hell,it's der in d mind :D :D :D
So wot next??I realy dont kno.Will try to keep sockets nd drums open,if sumthin comes by,y not?? :) :)

It aint d same

There usd to be a thrill attached.
There used to be a certain amount of enthu,hope fr fun,challenges,encountering problems and tacling dem.Quick thinking,smart moves,anything and everything dat cud make it memorable.
Thots of hypothetical situations,opinions on how to go abt dem,creatin d situations for others and then thinkin and rethinkin wot can make one go thru it.Askkin ppl,seeking their plan of action.
There used to be d time.When this was so very askd for,called for,prayin dem to come by.
And now is the time,where all I want is smooth passing.A less stress scenario.Where everythin simply needs to be in place.
Now is the time,so bloody different from wot it used to be.
Realisation strikes when either u r happy or irritated.And as its been d case,der r more occassions wherein u r irritated than joyous.Nothing or no1 to blame.Thats how one(Me) has chosen to,i believe.Bcs,else,happinness aint sumthin thats hard to ask for.
My recent work related travels just got me to think of it.Packing up and going sumwer aint of d many things dat i luk forward to.But strangely,once I am der,things are bak to normal.Duno wots d deal,I,kinda,dnt like it mch until my travel arrangements arent very solid and in place.
The sudden plans,d quick trips,once usd to b a fun mode for me.But not anymore.There's neva been a travel,wich has begun wit a 'shit' nd a bit of 'boss-abusing'.I kno its totally uncalled for,but still.
No idea,as to wot changed,and y it changed.But I kno,its there.I dont want to mah attitude towards and make it luk or sound different either.Will keep it jst d way it is.As I sed,no work,no effort.As smooth as it gets.

Spate of incidents:

The act of buildin morale,the act of buildin up courage,the act of buildin up confidence,these acts are undoubtedly the best thing dat u ever get to do for urself.For one simple reason,these are somethin dat u got do it and none else can.They cud initiate,but there's always this thing called,feel for urself.
Yup.I did that for myself.It was good to implement,was gud to speak abt it.Ppl think highly of u as well.And even,in that moment,you may not kno that these are mere 'feel-good-for-an-instant' stuff,only to help u move further.Everytime u say to urself or others 'I wudnt regret my decision'' ,there still remains a hint of doubt in u.The doubts,wich are difficult to do away with.But just that,it wud help u to make a decision in the first place.Otherwise,probb u wud neva end up makin one.
I did make a decision.And honestly,nothin was wrong in it.Honestly,the doubts,wotever they wer,i was able to reason with them,nd dey understud it as well.For me,d decisions werent bad.It was highly calculated,and well thot-of.Stil,things had to go wrong.And then begins the back-tracking,which i feel was the worst thing to happen.
I guess,i had 2 choices: to hang in and fight and the other,to fight and walk away.Both wud hav been a comfortable pick.But instead,wot normally happens is,u end up doubting ur very first decision.U end up regretting on the choice dat u earlier made only to land up with the 2 new ones.And, with any fresh choices that's on your face,you r quite sure,that things indeed went wrong.
A decision is being blamed at.A step that you make,is bein looked down upon.And amidst all this,you r in a spot,to make another one.You think and talk abt it a lot.And that reinstates your resolve to make a new decision,as if wot u jst made and screwed up,wasnt enough!!.
All these counts on as experiences.But in my opinion,there's no learning out of it.Bcs,you did nothing wrong to learn out of it.You jst tuk a step to land at a right place.They remain as stories to be told.Thats all it ends up as.Mere,worthless stories.

Doing Nothing

Had a month long programme of doin nothing.And nothing can beat this.
You simply kno,there needs to be done nothing.The act of doing nothing.And its doable.And one shud do this once in a while.
Went closer to nature.Had a brief period of roughness in mumbai.Ended up being at a place calld KARE,an ayurvedic and yoga centre,in a hillock with mulshi river flowing beneath it.Awesome place.Had a nice 4 days there.But the downside was,i kept worryin abt the money i was blowing up.And yes,i did have reasons to.I was the only middle class guy there.The rest wer dollar earners,and that explained their fortnight long and month long stay!!.
Nevertheless,met some fine set of ppl.Heard some nice life stories.Across the globe,u wud hav ppl with similiar work issues.Ppl quitting out of raw deals.Ppl working real hard to learn and amass their knowledge and put into use.The constant will to learn is what amazed me.They refused to be a part of routine and chose to learn instead.Not complainin or worryin about wot holds for them in future,but jst d hope,dat doin sumthn new,will work to their advantange.
Security,wot we indians yearn for,is missing in them.And,i believe,thats the only reason,that adds up to their will,that gives them a direction to live in the present.
If asked,as to wot was the best thing for me,in those 4 days,i gues it were those conversations.I was moved.And the best part was,I dint relate or compare with how me or we (those in similar situation) live our life.Bcs only 2 things make our lifestyle:Salary and Travelling. Aint that sick???
Wot makes their liefstyle:Happiness and Knowledge.Gues,a kind of faith exists in them,an inherent feeling,that these are the two things for wich they'd accountable for.The rest has been or will be taken care of.
Love it :) :)

Rolling a dice :) :

"He got a KT again"
"It happens,not bcs he aint studyin,luck matters a lot"
I dint realise,wot was gona cum for the rest of my engineering days,after i sed dat.Everytime,d chance came,dey nagged!!..nagged like anything.
"Great!!.dnt study.Luck leke bhaith,pass ho jaayega"
"wot?? U think u gona get lucky nd sail thru??"

Well..i kinda did sail thru..And yup,id still stand by wot i had sed.Wotever it may be,wotever strikes ya,gud or bad,luck has a role to play.I used to,and still believe,luck has a role as much as anythin else does.So do I think, dat Faith is another thing,and so is optimism and ofcourse,d effort and hard work...errr...hope too.. :D .. .Having listed out the 'Hygiene Factors' here (yup.I am almost a MBA,I am authorised to use irrelevant terms,nd make it sound cool :P ... Hertzberg bhai shall explain..),it tells me one thing very clearly,dat I dont kno a shit abt wot is it that I truly believe in.Just knowin the attributes aint all,there got to be somethin that one has to bank on and follow.So,basically,i dunno wot is dat i depend on.

Nice start. :) . Now,the question:when ppl make important decisions,wot is it that they depend on?? Luck or Optimism??.do they just feel lucky or think they wud get lucky,nd go ahead wit it?Or do they simply know,dat things gona work out for them,just d way they want it to??..Im talkin abt very imp decisions here,wen there's nothin around,no factors to weigh upon and absolutely no damn back-up!!...
I dont know wot one does,when they feel or think neither of d above.But still,d decision has to be made.
Sumtimes experience plays a role,ur probbability of successes and failures too help ya decide,but again,such major 'decision-taking' chances dont cum so often(God,if dats d case,den hats off to those who surf thru !!) and ofcourse,there's always a fuckin first time !!! Wot the hell do u do then??..As I said,hangin on or hoping for times to change aint gona help here,u gotta decide---NOW....

Tuff one!!..truly a tuff one !!...

Givin Up

Givin up.One of the hardest decision,dat each of us wud def encounter @ multiple times in life.Its as imp as it is hard to do..
U give up on ppl,on things,jst so dat u get wot u want,Or probb,u think the givin up is a step towards it.
It could be either to sweep aside sumthn,or could also be to get sumthn on its expense.And the obvious literal meaning of it :to lose it.To accept failure.

Different kinds of reactions follows after u hav dun dat,which depends upon each individual who maintains a basic idea of Giving up in his mind.

1.Give up and leave: I cant do this anymore.This is not wot I wanted.This is not wot i signed up for.

2.Give up and try: Hell wit this one.I'd try for wot comes next.And i'd do well.

3.Give up and wait :If it has to happen,it will.I wont bother abt it much.

4.Not give up,fight : Things will change.And,it will change for good.

I have come to believe,dat its only FAITH,dat makes and breaks ur decisions,dat influences your thoughts.Its faith,dat motivates or demotivates you to try or leave.Its Faith,dat makes you think that His will is gona make things better and hence makes you wait.Its faith in yourself,dat tells you to fight and win.Its faith in others,dat gets you to re-think on giving up on somebody.

Its only that,I dont seem to have enough of it.My struggles,could have been different too.Probb,it would.Someday.........

The day your passion resigns!!

Do what you like,and you'd be happy!!.
Do what you are passionate about,you'd be really happy!!.
Better still,turning your passion,to a profession,there would never be a dull moment in your life!!.

Passion:A strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.

Few of the recent movies,that I can remember,which conforms to the above "Do what you like" thing :Rock On,TZP,Iqbal,Shikshanacha Aaicha Gho,etc.

There are some,who kno what they want,there are some,who like something,there are some,who's extremely fond of certain things,there are some,who are so damn passionate about certain things and there are those,who work towards them,to ACHIEVE something with it.

A major discussion wit a friend,lead me to this thought:Its better not to convert your passion to a profession.Ofcourse,there are lots a conditions that applies to it.And these relate more to the creative ones: music,art etc.

Excerpts:
1.A profession,ultimately leads to certain aspects,some being,success,money,growth etc.Its JUST not the extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire anymore.
2.You follow what you are fond of,amidst support from near ones,or worse,major discouragements.Any which ways,that would definitely increase your resolve into actually getting into it,but the fact remains,you always have this pressure of doing well in whatever that you have stepped out for.
3.You work hard,you struggle,you strive to reach somewhere.I am not saying, its the money that you looking for,but yes,there's a threshold,below which you may not afford to carry something only bcs you are passionate about it.
4.It starts hitting you after a certain period of time,that you ain't going anywhere in the profession that you have just entered.Yes,the joy would still remain,but sadly,its no longer ONLY the joy that you want here,there are some add-ons,that you'd want too.
5.If you are passionate about something,you'd work hard,you'd be good,you'd be ultimately that good,that there's no stopping you.You'd be noticed,you'd move ahead,you'd get the satisfaction (joy + more joy).
6.You were simply happy with your passion for that thing.But now,the happiness comes with strings attached.The constant thought about your growth chart,your steps towards your dream,goal etc.
7.You wud have never thought of success and failure,then,when you were simply painting,or creating music,or dancing,singing etc.You have introduced these 2 terms in your journey when you make that as your profession.
8.The "fall-back plan" starts working in your mind.You gotta have a back-up profession or anything to sustain,in the event of any mishaps.
9.Your passion may just die in the pursuit of happiness.
10.Wrong move.Period.


There's a restaurant that me has frequented.They have live ghazals for the patrons.Now,it could very much be the kinda songs that this dude sings,that you do have this feeling,that he's sooo sad.But still,fact remains,that this guy,above 44 yrs old,singing in a restaurant,must have been surely passionate about singing in some point in his life.I am,obviously assuming things here,probb,this may not be his full time thing and again,it cud be,as well.Probb,he's doin it for his love of music,or probb,this is the only thing he has got, to feed himself.Probb,he does this because he likes doing what he's doing,or probb this is the only thing that he can do for his needs.I'd neva kno (well..i can actually,i just have to strike a conversation with him,but dat's not happening soon :P :P ).But yes,the point being,I see a man,who must have thought or dreamt of something better and bigger with his passion for singing.He must have tried real hard,but his preparation dint meet an opportunity for him to have his luck turned around.There would be many people within and around us,who'd be struggling from the day they realised their passion but never could make it.And yes,there'd be many,who just got better-off with it.

Keeping your passion alive,isnt going to kill you,but trying to keep yourselves alive just with your passion,MIGHT!!.

I do have success stories with me,of people I kno,or sum1 whom I kno,knowing.But they are in all the "Doing-what-I-always-wanted" stage.They are doing,or have got into what they always wanted to.And yes,its only thru the hard work and the enthusiasm they had.

As I mentioned,my apprehensions lie with those kinda passions where its you creative chord that plays.The so-called hobbies that helps you relax kinds.And these uncertainities and fear should not hold you back from venturing into anything that would always wanted,but hell,that's what I gotta say about it.

People who always wanted to get into medicine,architecture,engineering would no doubt,work hard and do well and yes,end up well too,with no regrets whatsover in following what they always had in mind and bloody nailing it.

Nevertheless,there's an ample amount of RESPECT that I hold for those, who do have a passion.Its not easy to recognise your skill in and love for something.And its even harder to pursue it.But just that,some things that makes you happy,should be kept just for that:For the JOY of doing it.